Back From America
by FanFreak2002
Summary: Serena's world is collapsing, and since the summer her mom sent her to her friend's house in America her world has been turned upside down and coming home is harder than it looks.


"It hurts," Serena admitted to herself. Her mom came in, putting an ice cold cloth on her forehead. It was soothing, the coolness seeping into her skin. "I'll bring you some soup up in a while sweetie." She kissed Serena's cheek, then left the room. Her mother, and everyone else for that matter thought she had caught some kind of virus from when she went to her "Aunt" Clara's.

They were pretty off. Everything from vodka to morphine was trying to escape from her pores. Three days before she had to leave, she decided to quit cold turkey. Her friends she made in Los Angeles knew about the habits. Hell, they supplied her with it. She was feeling the after-effects now though. Eight day, that's how long it was supposed to take to get the junk out of your system. It had been six, and Serena wasn't feeling any better.

The only thing that could get her through it was thinking about Paul. Paul Tate, "Aunt" Clara's son. Serena missed him. From his twinkling brown eyes, to the way his tongue would taste vividly like orange juice in the early morning.

Stop it. In three years when she turned eighteen she'd be able to fall into his arms again. "It'll all be okay," he told her he was facing her as he waved from the airport, her on the plane. It wasn't though, her heart was shattering. Apart from the drugs she used, she was able to be herself there not like she was ion Tokyo at all. She could be smart and witty if she wanted to be.

Understand, everyone else was one of those thing.

Mina: quirky and sexy

Amy: smart and sophisticated

Rei: resilient and loyal

Lita: skilled and tough

Where did that leave Serena she was combined, and she didn't know which to be anymore. So she decided to play the "Dumb Blonde."

Which worked for awhile, now it's over she wasn't going to pretend anymore. She didn't have to pretend in America she sure wasn't going to pretend in her own home.

Paul showed her real love, what it meant to get to know every nook and cranny of someone. Serena giggled, she had wanted to tell him then, but was still skeptical about it. It wasn't truly real yet. A little her and a little Paul was growing inside of her. Serena put her hand on her stomach. "If I'm meant to be with Paul, then why is Rini still here?"

Serena didn't have a clue. Her and Darien were pretty much over and she was sick of apologizing for something she probably didn't even do. After Rini showed up again, Darien had become more distant. Could the nightmares have haunted him again? No, she would be able to tell. By summer the two had stopped talking altogether.

Light red hair poked through her doorway, "You mom told me to send you some soup." Serena nodded towards her dresser, and Rini laid the piping hot bowl there. "Thanks." Rini shrugged and turned to the door. But something stopped her, "Why have you been acting so strange lately?" Serena turned from her, hiding her head underneath the covers. Rini sat on the bed, trying to tug the blanket away. Finally Serena gave up, and dropped the covers. "Why did we name you Rini? Were we drunk on champagne or something when we first had you?" Rini looked taken aback. "I don't know. It's just a name." Serena shook her head. "No it isn't. It's your name you should care. Do you even like it? It's supposed to mean something. Like Abigail, a father's jewel or Yvonne the lucid river. Something with meaning."

"Why are you so interested in things like that today?" "I don't know nothing else to do." "Amy came by today." "Oh? Why didn't you go with her?" "I was worried about you." Serena's eyebrows furrowed together. "I mean something could have happened to you." Serena scoffed at that, "Oh I see, I die then you don't exist. You just want to save your own ass."

Serena kicked off the covers, and scrambled out of the room. "I'm sick of putting up with everybody!" The dizziness took hold again, and she tried to grab a railing but it seemed so far away. Serena slumped against the wall, trying to sit down. But tumbled down the rest of the stairs. Tunnel vision swept over her, she knew. Yes, she knew. As always at the worst time her stupidity had to take hold of her.

She didn't shield her stomach, and the little her and the little Paul was gone, and it was all her own fault. She felt a warm liquid run down her legs. Her head that had been hit was now too heavy to look up and see if it was blood or the baby. Serena closed her eyes, "It's not fair."


End file.
